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I finished them all! I am still ecstatic as I type here, that was a monumental challenge and I thought I cannot finish them all. I sacrificed a lot of the time for this endeavour—and I know the backlash—but I do not care! Reading has always been my first love, and when dared on a challenge involving it I think I will always pull myself and even have the gull to declare the challenge finish. Whew!
In retrospect, I would love to read this book again sometime in the future. Just like when I reread Scout’s travels in Harper Lee’s How to Kill a Mockingbird, or walked with the recounts of tales of Rant in Palahniuk’s Rant, I think it would be best if I can promise myself that maybe after a decade I will open these books again and just get engrossed and forget the world.
Too bad that time has passed. So, hello Schwartz and Harrison; seems like these medical books will be with me for quite some time.
Paradigm shift.
I started knowing and understanding the words. Of course, during those times, it was difficult, challenging and essentially new to me. I am a hopeless homebody, and to get me out of the house was ground-shaking, that even now I am in awe as to how times though hard have changed and went around. In these inevitable times you get to meet people, and from that multitude you were chosen to be with the heads you were destined to live with. During the hard times you believe in their words, when they were trying to pull strength from you because even if it IS difficult you stayed strong, your resolve pure, and your mind unswayed.
You finally pull through it, everybody except one pulls through it, you reach the end however wounded. Everybody is just glad it has ended, everybody happy.
The end, right? Apparently.
What I hate with people is how they are always forgetful. They have forgotten how you stood with them through the trying times—how you sacrifice. You above all made the jump without hesitation, even if in your mind you know every consequence of the jump, good or bad. You hear people in the background, some in incorrigible chatter, some cheering for your resolve, some just sighing your name as you stood on the pedestal. With mind resolute, you closed your eyes, held your life vest by the collar, lifted one knee, and ka-blam. Right before you knew it, you were enveloped by the water. The sound went mute as you fell into the darkness. And then. in just one second, you rose from the depth. You opened your eyes, and those people were gone.
Apparently, they forgot. They forgot how they exalt your name in those days gone by because of your unending strength. They forgot how they held your arm as they were being taken away by strange forces. They forgot that you were even there. In your eyes they changed, and you did not. You were always silent, calm, and pondering. Preoccupied, you let time be the judge of your passing. But, when you went back to your senses, everything was different. It was as if you slumbered, and people went on with their way, and you were left to stay.
So you wallow on the earth. You find some mound you could crawl under, and stay there. But you always never forget to put up a sign outside the opening of your crevice, saying that you are there and that you persist. And that should they ever need your help, you will not hesitate. You will not hold back. How they are affected by the act is of primary importance. How the act affects you will always be secondary. Should they need you, you will be there.
But for now you will accept fate. You will sit down, hug your knees, and look up the sky. The clouds are clearing up now. It is nighttime, and it is the moment you will think whilst looking at the stars.
